Where You Been?

Sorry all for this brief reprieve from the internets. I know you've all missed me because what else do you have to do but monitor the blog of a dog from The Establishment Salon.

So, where have I been? I've been at odds with our century. This is what I've learned: A firm rule must be imposed upon our nation before it destroys itself: The United States needs some theology and geometry, some taste and decency. I suspect that we are teetering on the edge of the abyss.

Get a haircut before it goes off the edge. Or not. This is probably the Pabst talking. And it's 10:30am. Yay me.

ride the lightening,

Otis

AC/DC. Harder Than You.

answer to question no one asked:

Hardest rock band ever?
AC/DC

Why?
No ballads. Think about it.

Deal with it,
Otis

Double Life & Bored To Death = Love Your Hair

Jonathan Ames is a writer you are kinda scared to recommend to your friends. The Oprah version of Ames is David Sedaris. Sedaris buys condoms in bulk at Sam's Club. Oh heavens! Jonathan Ames gets attacked by transsexual dancers in Times Square. Look out.

On that note, I am writing to recommend his new book, The Double Life Is Twice As Good, the new Ames written HBO show Bored To Death starring Jason Schwartzman and Zach Galafinakisloaklandgyros (trailer below) and, on a salon related note, a diagram of Ames-pattern-baldness.

Our Next Life

If Woody Allen, author of the paragraph below, didnt marry his daughter, he'd be hailed as an American genius. Note to self: do not marry any family members, adpoted or otherwise.

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!

I rest my case.

- Woody Allen

Bear Piss and Beck Covers Velvet Underground

kinda stumped on this one. All I can say is call the number and forward to your friends. Totally worth the awkward call.

In other news, Beck is trying to out-hipster everyone again by forming a record club that slowly cover full albums from back in the dizzy. Posts about a song a week. He can do that. He's Beck. Although let it be noted that Beck's first cover is "Waiting For My Man" by Velvet Underground. Hey Beck-tard: the song is called "I'm Waiting For The Man". Its about scratchin your addiction crazy, waiting for your heroin dealer to meet you on the 6train on Lex and 125th in NYC. So wipe that smile off your LA face and get the title right. Lou Reed should slap you with a bagel. Lucky for you, you are Beck and the cover is f-ing amazing. (sub topic: Velvet Underground, along with Jane's Addiction and Me First and The Gimme Gimme's, might be the best band name ever)

Record Club: Velvet Underground & Nico 'Waiting for My Man' from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.