Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Gross Sweet and Sour Sauce Said Shannon
20 May 2009, 15:47pm, 4503 N Oakland Ave. Back Alley.
We recently put a picnic table behind the salon for an outdoor break room of sorts. Shannon went outside with her cellphone and coffee and returned in horror. "There are gross sweet and sour sauce stains on the table and on the ground!" she said. "Oh snap.", I say. Stunned, I wonder: Which is more of a slap in the face? Leaving gross sweet and sour sauce stains on the table or being so gross that the gross sauce stains the concrete too? Who stains concrete? Honestly! I tightened my belt and went into Number 1 Chinese armed with these questions and possibly more, depending on the resistance thrown down by the post-lunch delivery guy and counter staff.
There were three of them. One girl reading one of those weird free Used Car Magazines, another girl wandering around near the register, and a dude sitting in a chair behind the counter, on his Blackberry. I decide to open hard and say "Who just ate lunch outside on our new picnic table?" Silence. "Because someone left some gross sweet and sour sauces stains on the table and the concrete." Upon hearing me say concrete,Used Car girl's mouth drops open, this bonds us. Sitting Blackberry (his new, Native American name) looks up. "Yeah, I ate an eggroll out there. I can clean that if you want." Keeping up with my fake anger, I said. "I think you should right now. Do you want help?" Silence. "You gotta watch that, OK?" Boom. I leave. And so, is this like the beginning of some Kill Bill thing between The Establishment and Number 1 Chinese? I hope not but I hope so. Stay tuned. Its only May.